Free tools you can use right now
Everything below runs right here in your browser, nothing to install and nothing to sign up for. Nothing you type ever leaves your device. These are practical, consent-first tools, not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care.
A gentle readiness reflection
A short, private reflection to help you notice how settled the foundations feel right now, before or alongside exploring further. It is not a test you can pass or fail, and there is no right score. Answer honestly for how things are lately.
This is a moment of reflection, not a test you can pass or fail. It simply mirrors your own answers back to you.
Boundaries and agreements starter
Good intentions evaporate under real emotion. Written agreements protect your future selves. Fill this in together, calmly, then print or save it and revisit it as you learn. Treat it as a living document, not a contract carved in stone.
Jealousy first-aid: a thought record
When jealousy spikes, the feeling is real but the story it tells is often not true. Catch the exact thought, weigh it honestly, and land on something more balanced. Fill it in, then print or save it. Nothing you type leaves your device.
Jealousy decoder
Jealousy is a signal, not a command. Underneath it is usually a specific need. One question points you toward the right response.
Is there a specific reassurance, inclusion, or change that would genuinely help right now?
Make it a request, not an accusation
If a specific thing would help, name it and ask for it, kindly and without blame. Jealousy often just means a need has gone unmet: more closeness, more inclusion, more reassurance.
A need you can name and ask for is workable. Bring it to your partner as information, not a charge, and let them help.
This one points inward
If no single change would fix it, the jealousy is likely pointing at a deeper insecurity, often around comparison or self-worth. That is not solved by controlling anyone's behavior. It is tended, slowly, from the inside.
Try this in the moment: pause, breathe, reconnect, and name the feeling without blame. Then, over time, do the slower work on self-worth, with a good therapist if it runs deep. Comparison is a story, not a verdict, and it loses power when you stop feeding it.
5-4-3-2-1 grounding
When a spike pulls you into the abstract, your senses are the way back to the present, where the feared thing almost never is. Name each one slowly. Check them off as you go. This is a good one to reach for in the moment, before any big conversation or conclusion.
Nicely done. You are here, in this room, right now. Notice how the present feels a little steadier than the spiral. Big feelings pass if you let them, and nothing decided in the grip of one is trustworthy.
A calming breath
When a feeling runs high, a slow breath with a longer exhale sends your nervous system a signal of safety. Follow the circle: breathe in as it grows, hold briefly, and breathe out slowly as it shrinks. A minute or two is enough to take the edge off so you can think and reconnect.